Shrektale
by Azkadela
Summary: Sans is a skeleton that lives in a swamp, only when lord flowery, discrimanats all things weird looking and sends them of to live in the swamp, does Sans leave his land to make a deal, on the way he meets a tall skeleton donkey called papyrus who wont leave him alone, goin Sans on his quest to save princess Frisk from a tower to get his swamp back, or mady find something better.
1. Ch 1 big bright beautiful world

Shrektale

Ch 1: big bright beautiful world

WARNING: this story is mostly bested on the musical rather than the film.

Once upon a time, there was a little skeleton monster named Sans, who lived with his parents in a bog by a tree. It was a pretty nasty place, but he was happy because monsters were used to nasty.

On his birthday, the little skeleton monster's parents sat him down to talk, just as all skeleton monster's parents had for hundreds of years before.

[Mama skeleton:]

Listen son, you're growing up so quickly,

Growing up, bigger by the day.

She sang with a gentle smile on her face

[Papa skeleton:]

Although we want you here,

The rules are very clear-

He sang with an encouraging smile on his face.

[Mama skeleton:]

Now you're seven...

[Papa skeleton:]

Now you're seven...

[Both:]

So it's time to go away.

Little Sans looked socked 'WHAT' his mind scream.

[Papa skeleton:]

Your Mama packed a sandwich for your trip.

He hands Sans a backpack filed with things he might need.

[Mama skeleton:]

Your Papa packed your boots in case of snow.

[Both:]

You're gonna make us proud.

No backing up allowed.

[Mama skeleton:]

Just keep walking...

[Papa skeleton:]

Just keep walking...

[Both:]

and you'll find somewhere to go.

It's a big bright beautiful world,

with happiness all around.

It's peaches and cream

and every dream comes true...

But not for you.

It's a big, bright, beautiful world,

with possibilities everywhere.

And just around the bend,

there's a friend or two...

But not for you.

'well that's just great' Sans thinks to him self as he starts walking down the hill, towards the woods, with his parents still singing and encouraging him.

[Mama skeleton:]

You're ugly son,

which means that life is harder.

People hate the things they cannot understand.

As she sang this a big proction of people with solders matched by, amongst them was, a young girl with short brown hair, wearing purple dress, with a blue ribbon the just below her chest. She spotted Sans and instead of screaming like his parents protected, she smiled and waved, Sans grind and waved back shyly. That grin disappeared however when, the girls farther, a short man with a crown noticed the exchange scolded, grabbed his daughter by the shoulders and order the soldiers to chase Sans away.

[Papa skeleton:]

And when they look at us,

they tend to make a fuss.

[Mama skeleton:]

Burn our houses down.

[Papa skeleton:]

and chase us...

[Both:]

Off our land.

[Papa skeleton:]

It's important that you find a cozy cesspit.

[Mama skeleton:]

A place no one would ever dare to tread.

[Both:]

And if they happen by,

make sure you terrify them.

[Mama skeleton:]

If you don't, son...

[Papa skeleton:]

If you don't, son...

[Both:]

Then you'll surely wind up dead.

'oh joy' Sans thought to himself as he walked farther away from his old home.

[Mama skeleton:]

Good-bye!

[Papa skeleton:]

Good-bye!

[Mama skeleton:]

Watch out for men with pitch-forks!

[Sans's Voiceover:]

And so the little monster went off and found a muddy patch of swampland, along the way crowds would welcome him with festive torches, hatchet and fun things like that, but when the little monster tried to join in the fun, his new friend would suddenly realize they had other things to do. So the little monster found a lovely swamp far, far away from the world that despised him. And there he stayed for many years. Tucked away, and all alone...which was just the was he liked it.

There was a flushing noise emanating from a small hut in the middle of the swamp, the handle giggled but the door refused to open. "OH GOD, NOT AGAIN" yelled a voice from inside, suddenly the hut glowed blue and burst up into the sky, revealing and tall adult skeleton wearing a blue tunic with brown pants and a thick leather belt around his waist.

[Sans:]

Keep your big bright beautiful world.

I'm happy where I am, all alone.

I got all I need,

so read the stinkin' sign!

He said sticking a homemade beware sign in the ground with a picture of a skull and cross bones on it, the skull being a replica of his own face baring his teeth.

Keep your big bright beautiful world.

I party on my own anyway.

Doin' what I can

with a one-man conga line.

Doing a little boogie dance on his own in front of his house.

Yeah, your big bright beautiful world

is all teddy bears and unicorns.

Take your fluffy fun,

and shove it where the sun don't shine!

He went up to his deckchair and lounged into it with a bottle of ketchup in hand, gluging it down.

I prefer a life like this-

it's not that complicated.

Sure, I'm fated to be lonely,

and I'm destined to be hated.

If you read the books, they say

it's why I was created.

But I don't care,

'cause being liked

is grossly overrated.

Who needs a big bright beautiful world?

He through the empty ketchup bottle aside, and starts dancing in a very up beet way.

I got my own little patch of the world!

It's not a big bright beautiful world,

but it's mine! Alone!

It's mine!

And it's mine!

All mine!

Sans then goes inside the house and emerges with an arm full of beware sighs and marches of to pin them to more trees.


	2. Ch 2 story of my life

Ch 2: story of my life

Not long after Sans left, a large troop of strange looking creatures were being marched through the woods and into the swamp, amongst them was a strange fishlike woman made entirely out of wood. She tolk one look at the swamp, and slammed her suitcase down on the ground, yelling "THIS PLAICE IS A DUMP", a small yellow dinosaur creator wearing an elf outfit came out from the crowd with a panicked look on her face, "I..ITS

AWEFUL!" she was breathing heverly as a spider lady ran up to her, patting her on the back, "take deep breaths Alfas, she has panic attacks" she explained to the fish lady, who looked sympathetic.

I Guard]

(Spoken)

Alright, when I call your name step forward. Undyn, the puppet.

[Undyn]

(Spoken)

I'm not a puppet, I'm a real girl.

(Nose grows and she looks irritated)

[Guard

(Spoken)

That's your patch of mud down there.

[Undyn]

Thank you very much

(Spoken)

Oh, dumped on a swamp. Man, I tell you sometimes being a fairytale creature sucks pine sap.

[Undyn]

Life is disappointing,

Woe is what I know.

Outed by my nose,

That's just how it goes,

For poor Undyn OH!.

Story of my life,

Always doomed to fail.

Cheated by a fox,

Swallowed by a whale.

That's the story of my life, oh yeah,

That's the story of my life.

[Alfas the Shoemaker's Elf]

S...strife is never ending.

[Guard]

(Spoken)

Monster kid!

[Monster kid]

Banished from the town

[Guard]

(Spoken)

Pointless flying duck!

[Pointless flying duck]

They dragged me from the pond.

[Wimpson ]

They broke my magic wand.

[Three grater dogs]

They blew our kennels down.

[Guard]

(Spoken)

Bob!

[Bob]

Life is but a witch hunt.

[Torial]

Mama's in the mud,

Mama's in distress.

[Icecap]

They ridiculed my hat.

[Three grater dogs]

They said that we were fat.

[Doggo]

They tore my cotton granny dress,

And called me a hot and tranny mess.

[Guard]

(Spoken)

Miss muffet!

[All]

Story of my life.

Booted from the ball

Told to go away

[Temmie]

Tem fell of the wall!

[All]

But that's the story of my life

[Guard]

(Spoken)

You're late rabbit.

[Bun bun]

That's the story of my life.

[Guard]

(Spoken)

Have fun you guys

[All]

That's the story of my life.

[Guard]

(Spoken)

And remember if we find you back in the kingdom you will be executed.

[All]

I always dreamed I'd get a happy ending.

[Bob]

And this right here,

Not how it goes.

[All]

I always dreamed I'd get an ever after.

If this is it,

It blows (x3)

[Undyn]

(Spoken)

This is worse than the time I caught Dutch Elm Disease in Tijuana

[All]

Story of my life,

All the wasted prayers.

All the broken dreams.

[The three goats]

All the broken chairs.

[All]

All the damage done

[The Three goats]

All the busted beds.

[All]

All the shattered falls

[The Three goats]

And the porridge on our heads.

[All]

That's the story of my life, yes sir.

That's the story of my life, oy vey.

That's the story of my,

Life

[Undyn]

(Spoken)

cr*p!

It was at this moment were Sans returned to find a bunch of "fairy tale creatures" setting up camp in his swamp, arguing over versus different objects from his house, he grow very angry.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP"

All the creatures looked his way and Alfas squealed, but then tried to cover it up by explaining that they were forst to be there, this didn't help Sans's mood one bit, "forst by who!" he demanded.

"lord flowery.. he huffed and he huffed and signed an eviction notice" said one of the greater dogs.

"really.. well not my problem, now you guy all need to get up, turn around and go back to where you came from" he said unsympathetically, Icecap came forward with a worry face, "back we can't go back" he said, Alfas joined in "if we do flowery will kill us all"

"Yep the guys bad news" said doggo from Sans's deckchair.

"hay maybe you can talk to him" said muffet as all the other creatures minus Sans nodded.

"y..yeah he'd listen to yo..." Alfas started running up to him but noticed one eye glowing blue, "wow y...you big and s...scary".

"I'm also a monster, witch meets I stay on my swamp and away from crowds or, haven't you read the stories"

"you meet thought stories that say I'm a Big Bad Wolf" Doggo said laughing and slapping Sans's shoulder with a magazine "I'm not even a wolf, I'm just a dog"

"Or thoughts stories that say I'm a wicked witch" said Bob "just because I have a different name to all the other temmies doesn't make me a witch"

"Or the stories that say I'm a wooden girl" said Undyn, every one looked at her in confusion " WHAT? I'm not a wooden girl" her nose then grow about a foot, she signed "I have a glandular condition" she said with sass.

Torial then stood up and walk over to Sans with a gentle smile "lesson my child..."

" it's Sans" Sans interrupted in annoyance.

"Sans.. we know this is hard, and Believe me, all of us would much rather be in out own comfy homes right know, but we have been kick out unjustly, and told to stay put, so if you want us out of your hair... I keen land, then you'll have to take it up with Lord flowey" she said in ever the motherly tone.

All the fairy tale creatures began to beg, some on their knees, some just standing up, and some really improperly, all they were all getting fare to close for Sans's likening.

" ALRIGHT I GET IT" he yelled foreign them to depart farther away from him, " I go to this Flowey guy, and talk to him, now you just stay here and don't get configurable, I'll be back soon" he said marching of in a huff, with shears and claps following him as he exited the swamp. "DON'T DYE" someone yelled after him.


	3. Ch 3 don't let me go

Ch 3 don't let me go

As Sans walked through the woods, he soon realised that he didn't actually know the way, to Lord flowey's castle. Just as he was about to turn back and try a different way, a frantic scream filed the air, he watched as a tall donkey skeleton ran past him and hid, followed by a troop of soldiers with weird hair, as soon as they sore Sans, they recoiled in discussed.

"uh it's hideous" the leader said holding up a sward in defence.

"Well that's not very nice, it's just a donkey, be it a bonely looking one" said Sans laughing at his own joke.

"it's a talking skeleton donkey, a freak of nature, same as you unsavoury beast," said the captain hotly.

" hay you going the right way for a smack bottom you are" said Sans as though he were scolding a child.

The captain however looked as though he liked the sound of that, before realising who said it and scowled once more, " by order of lord flowey, i have the authority to place you both under arrest.

"OH really" said Sans as his eye turns blue, and he sends bones darting towards the soldiers, they managed to dodge most of them, screaming as they did so. Sans looked at the expectantly, " this is the part were you run away" he said smiling. They ran.

Sans laugh to himself, only to realise he wasn't by himself, the donkey skeleton he had just saved was now in front of him grinning "GREETINGS I'M THE GREAT PAPYRUS" he said in a very loud voice that made Sans's ears hurt, well they would if he had any. "THAT WAS AMAZING, YOU JUST MADE THEM DISAPER IT WAS LIKE MAGIC".

"well thank you, now run along and celebrate your narrow escape with your friends" Sans said trying to walk past Papyrus, but Pap didn't let him "I DONT HAVE ANY FRIENDS" he said with a cheery voice, "well what a shame" Sans said rolling his eyes, "WHERE ARE YOU GOING" asked Paps " to find away to get to Lord flowey's castle" paps got excited, "OH OH THAT'S IN HOTLAND, I CAN TAKE YOU, I CAN TAKE YOU" HE SAID bouncing up and down on his hooves.

"um no thanks" said Sans as he tried moving past Papyrus again only to be blocked again , paps began to beg.

"PLEASE LET ME COME, I CAN'T GO BACK IN A CAGE, I DID SIX YEARS FOR INPERSANTING A PINYATA, THEY COULD SEE RIGHT THROUGH ME OF COUSE BUT STILL" Papyrus went on.

Sans sighs "ok Papyrus, look at me, WHAT am I" he asked gesturing to himself, Paps look at him and said "REALLY PAIL?" "NO I'm a monster, you know grab you torch and pitch forks, doesn't that bother you just a bit" he said in annoyance "NOPE" said Pappy "really?" asked sans " REALLY" said happy grinding childishly "NOW WILL YOU LET ME GO WITH YOU", Sans thought for a moment then finely said "no" but Pappy wouldn't give up.

(Papyrus)

Hey, hey, hey! You gotta let me go with you!

You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak!

Well maybe you do.

But that's why we gotta stick together!

No, no, no! Don't speak, don't speak, don't speak!

Just hear me out! I might surprise you.

I'll be a friend, when others despise you.

Don't roll your eyes! Stop with the mopin'.

You need a pal! My calendar's open!

I'll bring you soup, when you feel congested.

I'll bail you out, when you get arrested!

I got your back, wha-wha-what, when things get scary.

And I'll shave it, when it gets hairy!

Don't let me go!

Don't let me go!

Don't let me go! (oh oh oh oh)

You need me!

You need me!

I'll treat you right, and never get shoddy.

If you kill a man, I'll hide the body!

So what do you say' You're not responding...

I think we're bonding!

Don't let me go.

Don't let me go.

Don't let me go! (oh oh oh oh)

You need me.

You, you and me, we belong together.

Like butter and grits,

Like kibbles and bits,

Like yin and yang,

Sturm and Drang,

Like Eng and Chang, attached at the hip

But not an old lady hip that might break

I'm gonna be on you like a fat kid on cake!

DONKEY (spoken):

Like Cupid and Psyche, like pop rocks and Mikey,

we'll stick together like that Velcro stuff, I'm the fuzzy side; you'll be the spiky.

Ooh! Like little kids and pajamas with those funny things at the bottom, you know, feeties.

Like donuts and' oh, what goes with donuts'

Papyrus:

Donuts and diabetes!

Don't let me go!

Don't let me go!

Don't let me go!

Don't let me go!

Hold me! Hug me! Take me, please!

Na-na-na-na-na-na, please don't let me go!

I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you,

I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you!

Don't let me go, Go! Go! Don't let me g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-go!

"OK FINE" shouted Sans, "only because I'm lost, you can come"

"YAY LET'S GO NEW BEST FRIEND".


	4. Ch 4 The plant and the Princess

Ch 4 THE PLANT and the princess

Meanwhile with in the kingdom of HOTLAND, deep in the dungeons, small scream could be herd from inside one of the torches rooms, and a high pitch voice Spoke loudly.

"I will only ask once more little spiders, where are the other creatures, I've already got my hands on you mistress and her so called friends, so you mite as well tell me, or else it's another dunking in the spider sider for you now tell me who is hiding them" said lord flowey,

He stood by a table covered in spiders, some with legs torn of, other were under glass cups suffocating and some like the one he was talking to, were half drowned in spider sider. Flowey him self, looked a bit odd, but if anyone was to say that to his face they would soon fined them selves suffering a fate worse than these spiders.

He wore a red tunic with puffy selves and a pare of yellow leggings, his arms and legs were green and feet and hands were made of leaves. He had an almost friendly face surrounded by yellow petals, but he was far from friendly.

"alright I'll tell you" sobbed the spider, "do you know the muffin ma..." but the spider was interrupted by a soldier bursting into the room followed by other soldiers carrying a large object under a sheath.

"my lord we've found it" the captain said excitedly.

"found what" demanded flowey, obviously very annoyed at being interrupted in his fun.

"the magic mirror sir" the Capitan said uncovering the mirror, as a sad ghostly face appeared on the glass surfing.

"wonderful, now take these spiders to the swamp, I don't need them anymore, now...mirror mirror on the wall, is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all?" he said with a creepy smile.

The mirror sighed and really didn't look up to it right now, but he had know chose, "HOTLAND isn't a kingdom..."

SMASH!

"you were saying" flowey said after smashing a smaller mirror in his "hand".

The mirror just sighed again " it's is not a kingdom, because dispute your heritage, you are not a king, you will be if you marry a princess" he said dilly

Flowey did not look impressed "fine who knows, maybe I will like being married, it will be another soul to torture"

" OK well we have several single princesses available right now" said the ghostly mirror as his face disappeared to reveal a shadow of a woman carrying a broom , " first we have, Cinderella, she likes sushi and hot tubs, as well as cooking and cleaning"

"OH I like the broom" said flowey as he observed the mirror.

The picture then changed to a shadow of Severn little men carrying a woman in a class coffin, "this lady is interesting, you just need to giver her a kiss to find out what she is like, or though she lives with Severn other men, she's easy, her name is snow white "

"OH she comes in a box" stated flowey

The next picture vested from images of a castle, a dragon burning people to death and a shadow of a woman siding in a tower, " this one's my favourite, Princess Frisk, funny, pretty, determined and lives in a tower, guarded by a metal dragon and surrounded by hot bowling lava... So witch one do you like best, 1 2 or 3"

" um well determination would be a very useful soul to keep around or absorb, so I think I'll go for number 3" said flowey with an evil smirk.

" princess Frisk it is then, but I should problem worn you about this little talent of the princesses that is a bit unusual shall be say, you see after sun set" the mirror tyres explaining but was interrupted.

"shut up mirror, it won't mater what talents she has, I'll just send someone to go get he, woo the dame girl and once I marry her, I'll just absorb her soul and that will be the end of that" flowey said and laughter maniacally as both he and the soldiers left the room, leaving the mirror alone.

"OH no what have I done... OH hello readers, how are you" said the mirror " my name's magic mirror, but I prefer nabsterblook, or Blooky for short, do you want to see my special feature on Princess frisk, you can find out about the curse she's under, see deleted scenes, hold on I'll show you her back story, you'll get to see her when she was Severn years old" blooky said as the mists of the mirror cleared to reveal a room inside a tall tower, filled with books and toys, young princess Frisk sat at the window reading to her dolls.

YOUNG Frisk,

(Spoken)

Settle in girls. It's story time!

(Sung)

There's a princess

In a tower

Oh my gosh, that's just like me

Poor Rapunzel

Needs a haircut

But the witch won't set her free

She passes time by singing

Like someone else I know

As years go by she sits and waits?

As years go by' Uh oh

A torturous existence

I don't remember this part!

She wishes she were dead

Skip ahead skip ahead!

But in the end Rapunzel finds a millionaire

The prince is good at climbing and braiding golden hair!

So I know, he'll appear

Cause there are rules and there are strictures

I believe the storybooks I read by candlelight

My white knight, and his steed

Will look just like these pictures!

It won't be long now, I guarantee!

Day number 23.

I know its today

I know its today

TEENSAGE Frisk:

(Spoken)

Oh here's a good one! It's a classic!

(Sung)

There's a princess

In a coma

Glad its her instead of me.

Pretty maiden

In a glass box

How I wonder does she pee?

Blah blah blah, poison apple

Boring boring evil queen

Filler filler, been there, read that!

Seven shorties on the scene.

Skip ahead, skip ahead'

But in the end the princess wakes up with a start

The prince is good at kissing

And melting Snow White's heart!

So I know, he'll appear

And his armor will be blinding!

As shining as his perfect teeth and manly hose

He'll propose

On one knee

And our prenupt will be binding!

About time we set the wedding date!

Day number 958.

I know it's today.

He'll show up today...

Frisk: she looks slightly annoyed at how long she's been waiting

...ay...

There's a princess

Any princess

Take your pick, they're all like me

Not exactly, I'm still WAITING!

they're out living happily

Ever after better get here

I want love in seconds flat

No one needs these middle bits

Oops, did I do that'

'she starts going a bit crazy, ripping up the books and throwing them around the tower'

Cut the villains, cut the vamping

Cut this fairytale

Cut the peril and the pitfalls

Cut the puppet and the whale

Cut the monsters, cut the curses

Keep the intro, cut the verses

And the waiting, the waiting, the waiting, the waiting

The waiting!

But I know, he'll appear

Though I seem a bit bipolar

' she awkwardly stats picking up books'

And I'm a vandal now as well, though he won't mind

I'm a find, I'm a catch

And a very gifted bowler!

It won't be long now, I guarantee!

Day number'

Are you there God?

It's me Frisk

ALL Frisks:

It's me Frisk!

Now I know, he'll appear

Cause there are rules and there are strictures

I believe the storybooks I read by candlelight

My white knight, my knight and his steed

Will look just like these pictures!

It won't be long now, I guarantee!

YOUNG Frisk

Day number 23

TEENAGE Frisk

Day number 958

Frisk:

Day number 8423

YOUNG Frisk

I know its today, oooo

TEENAGE Frisk

I know its today, oooo

Frisk,

I know its today, oooo

YOUNG Frisk

I know its today, oooo

TEENAGE Frisk

I know its today, oooo

Frisk,

I Know it's today

ALL Frisk,

I know it's today!

Frisk sighs and puts her feet up as the sun goes down


End file.
